How does an Engineer or Scientist live to 115 years old?

1. First, a Mathematician lives to be 114 and then by inductive reasoning lives one more year.

2. A quantum physicist must find a 115 year old eigenfunction that is orthogonal to a dead cat.

3. A computer scientist right out of school starts a software project that is estimated to take one year, and then they refuse to quit life until the code is bug free.

4. A cell biologist harvests mitochondria from all 115 year olds in existence and substitutes these in their own cells so they feel like they have the energy of a 115 year old.

5. A System-in-a-Package engineer builds a large satin-lined package that fits three engineers whose age total was 115.

6. A reliability engineer argues that any death to themselves before 115 is not statistically significant.

7. A component engineer quickly changes the specification sheet on any of their component organs as it begins to fail.

8. A manufacturing engineer treats death as a downturn in the economy and collects unemployment insurance until their body recovers from sluggishness.

9. An IEEE Standards committee member has his Last Will and Testament redefine the days in one year = #days of his life divided by 115.

10. Nuclear physicists strongly celebrate their 57.5 year duration since they know once half-life is well observed it seldom changes.

11. An IEEE Administrator taxes 2 years from each Society and adds it to their own life span.