Editor's Column
Presentations
by Kit Brown-Hoekstra
I apologize for not getting the newsletter out in December. A personal crisis kept me offline most of the month (everything is fine now).
The theme for this month is Presentations. We had record numbers of volunteers for this issue, which is obviously a hot topic for many readers. I hope you enjoy the articles and I appreciate the patience of the authors in getting this newsletter out.
Most of the articles I mention above focus on the standard "stand up in front of an audience and give a formal, slideshow-based talk". However, my personal crisis made me consider other types of presentations that we do every day--informal ones that give us good or bad news, that change our lives for better or for worse.
Bad news is always difficult to deliver, even more so if you don't know the person to whom you have to give it. And often, there is no good way to make the news more palatable. Police officers, fire fighters, doctors, military attachés have to do this every day. There aren't many good ways to say, "Your <insert name of loved one> has died/been injured/has killed someone." Or, "Your home was destroyed in <fill in the disaster>."
Some people rush through and just blurt out the news to alleviate their own discomfort. Others build up to it gradually, trying to gauge how you will react before saying what needs to be said. Some are compassionate, showing a trembling lip or a teary eye as they try to maintain their professional demeanor. Others retreat into the data, coming across as uncaring, or worse, condescending. Few are trained on how to deliver such news effectively.
The best way to deliver bad news, particularly the personal kind due to a death, serious injury, or disaster, is to keep the following in mind:
- Before talking to them, make sure you have as much information as you can about the situation before talking to the person.
- Introduce yourself and your affiliation.
- Acknowledge the difficulty of the situation, particularly if you don't know the person to whom you are giving the news.
- Empathize with the person. Imagine how you would feel if you were given the same news.
- Give the person time to assimilate the news and to react however they need to react. (And, don't take their reaction personally.)
- Answer their questions politely, honestly, and compassionately. Consider how much detail they are ready for when responding.
- Let them be the one to end the conversation. Stay as long as they need you to. Bad news is not something that you should rush away from.
- If they don't have a friend or loved one physically present to support them through the crisis, help them get in touch with someone. Don't leave them alone until you are sure that they are OK.
- Watch for signs of shock. People react differently to emotional trauma. Some people withdraw, some people collapse into a heap, some act out. Some people respond effectively during the crisis, only to fall apart later.
- Adjust your actions based on their reactions to the news. Above all, stay calm and compassionate, even if they rant and scream.
- Make sure you have the contact information for the person in charge of the situation or the counselor assigned to help victims, and give it to the person you are giving the bad news to. If appropriate, give them your contact information. People often come up with questions later, as they begin to process and assimilate the information.
Here's a sample script that I've used when I've had to deliver bad news:
"Hello. I'm <insert name> with the <insert organization>. I'm terribly sorry to have to tell you this difficult news, especially since you don't know me. There is no easy way to tell you, but I'm here because X happened, and Y was hurt/killed/destroyed/has a serious problem. <Pause and let them react.>I'm sorry; I know this must be a shock for you and that you probably have a lot of questions; how can I assist you? Is there someone I can call for you?"
Above all, remember the humanity of the person you are talking to. Show your compassion and care; it will be paid forward in ways you will never now.
For a list of upcoming newsletter topics, check out the editorial schedule.